Scribbles~

Finally I see..
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I felt that... After not talking to you for a while.. I didn't felt as strongly as I was towards you...
I thought maybe it was that i knew you never liked me. But then again, maybe my so-called love towards you weren't as strong as I thought... I feel like a fool.. "Na, paboh-ya!" thats what i always thought.

Loving someone who wouldn't love me back, i guessed i should have seen this coming... Day by day of ignoring you, ignoring your questions, ignoring everything has buried what i once had for you... Maybe this is a good thing.. But it does show how foolish I was... I'm not afraid to admit it... I'm a fool when it comes to ''love''. Seeing others in love always makes me jealous.. Always thinking why can't I be like that? Find someone who is meant for me...

*sigh..* I guess this might be a phase I'm going through..
Darn those hormones!
I have so much Love to give but can never find the right one...
I won't whine about how much i feel for you anymore since we're not meant to be.. Rattling away about how we could have been is useless.. Eventhough you're so near yet so far.. I don't want relationships that has to do with the computer.. its an utterly waste of my time. I think that even if i said this.. I still think that its nice to have someone who cares for you. No matter online or what not..
So i guess thats all for today...
I totally love this blog.. It's nice to have a place to blab it all out.. ^^
posted by - fish fish/ Steffi ♥ - at 10:07 PM | 0 comments

Love is hard.. Loving you is harder..
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Just as I was giving you up..

You had to come and send me mixed signals again..

Just as I was trying to forget you..

You showed me what attracted me to you..



I wish sometimes that you would stop toying around with me..

But at the same time, you talk about other girls in front of me..

Asking me.. Have you ever felt a knife stabbing into your heart?

That's what it felt like..



I feel so foolish.. I love you even if with rarely meet nor talk in front of each other..

But in front of the computer screen.. It's like we've been best friends for years..

You have almost everything I want in a guy..

First, I liked you.. Then I loved you..

Everything seems so right then..

But after knowing you liked someone near me..

I made the decision to give you up..



Why..? Why does it hurt so much?

Why is it so hard for me to let go of you?

Why does my heart yearn for you when I know your not going to be mine?

It has been a long and hard way for me to find a guy like you..

And yet you tell me.. That the person you like is another..

I wonder if i would regret my decision of letting you go..

I wonder if you would ever find out..

I wonder what we could have been if we were.. together..




But of course, wondering is useless right now..

Your heart is not with me nor has it ever been..

If only you knew my heart was always with you..

Even though you might not know it..



One last time I want to express how much I like you, No..

How much I love you.. And I certainly hope that its not the last time..

I'll leave it all to fate to decide..

I'll leave it to the hands of the angels..

I'll leave it to the hand of God..




Maybe.. Just maybe..
We were meant to be..

posted by - fish fish/ Steffi ♥ - at 7:25 PM | 0 comments

My thoughts..
Sunday, May 11, 2008
What would happen if I told you "I Love You"..


What would happen if I said "I miss You"..


What would happen if I said I couldn't forget you, I can't let you go..


What would happen if I told you that you have a special place in my heart..?


I enjoy your company, I enjoy talking to you, I even enjoy arguing with you..

I like everything about you.. I like how silly you are.. I like how you are such a happy-go-lucky guy.. I like it when you're always there for me to talk to.. I even like your silly insults.. I must be stupid.
Slowly I realized that I really really like you. Slowly.. Just ever so slowly..


I even get a bit jealous when you talk about other girls.. But hey, you didn't know right?
I don't have the courage to tell you how I feel.. The fear of rejection is always there..

That's why for now.. I choose to remain friends.. I can't afford to lose what we have..
I am happy just to talk to you.. To have a chat with you.. Or even an argument..
Seeing you makes me blush, reading your messages make me smile, knowing what happens in your day makes me happy too.. Its nice.. To have this feeling.. I hope that it will not end..


I'd like to know what is in your heart.. But at the same time.. I am too afraid..
Maybe knowing what's in your heart might hurt me.. I know that I'm a coward.

If only you knew.. If only I knew..
posted by - fish fish/ Steffi ♥ - at 11:58 PM | 0 comments